Animal Tracks
She strided on toward the gate, her scarlet hair like fire, swirling like smoke in the wind. The moon shone into her hazel eyes. The feeling of warmth that she usually felt when she saw the moon wasn’t there. For the fact that she was sneaking into the zoo, shielded all positive and warm thoughts.
As she climbed up the gate, she reminisced how it all started.
It was a normal summer Saturday afternoon; which also meant many visitors. The zoo was even more packed, and the aroma of popcorn, cotton candy, and the best chocolate ice cream in town floated in the air. Fauna scanned her volunteer ID and got to work. Walking to the EXOTIC BIRDS exhibit, she started to feed the Eudyptes chrysolophus (Macaroni penguins) their lunch: krill and squid. Watching them always intrigued her as a child; their bright yellow feathers sticking out of their heads, the feathers had danced around as the penguins waddled. However, this was different. Now the only thing dividing them from her was a little metal gate (which she was told firmly not to open by the manager), not a big glass window. This had made her day a great one, what with her love for animals, that could not be measured. She had just gotten promoted to feeding the birds. It was no surprise that this opportunity had been given to her, what with her two-years experience as a volunteer. She caught one last glimpse at the penguins before she walked on to the peacocks.
“Hey Fauna, what’s up?”, Henry had asked. He was a specialist at the zoo and worked with all the animals.
“I’m great,” she said. Her face was glowing like the thousands of lights on Christmas day.
Henry grinned, he had known that Fauna was looking forward to this day. Little did Fauna know that the piece of information Henry would give to her would lead to her happiness breaking into pieces.
“The manager wanted to see you Fauna. And he said it was serious.”
Fauna had rushed off to see Mrs. Stone, the manager. Her heart was thumping so loud, she was afraid that other people could hear it. She had put her hand up to her heart, as to have made an attempt to cover the noise. When she finally got to the manager’s office, she was rushed into one of the green plastic chairs.
“Listen up Fauna, this is very serious. These things should never happen in zoos, especially in one with a very, VERY good reputation like ours. I have no choice but to let you go. Until we figure this out, there is no way we can have volunteers. I know that you can’t be responsible for this, but we-”
“I’m sorry but I just don’t understand. Why am I being let go?”
“Oh! Have you not heard? We found out this morning. A red panda is gone! Vanished! No one knows what happened. We can’t blame any of the volunteers. But after what happened, I think it’s best that we don’t have them until the police finish the investigation. They’ll ask you guys questions, but after that we’ll have to dismiss everyone.”
Fauna had listened to the manager and left the zoo, astonished and perplexed. Mrs. Stone didn’t know one thing about Fauna though. It was that in certain situations the animals mattered the most to her, and no one could do or say anything to stop that.
Now as Fauna stood in the zoo entrance, she was shivering from fright. She could make an outline of the dark green shrubs and trees and the stars flashed above. Why did she have to come to the zoo at this time? It was not like her to break into a place. Henry had called her and he said that if she would help him look at the cameras to see if someone stole the red panda, it would be a great help. She wouldn’t pass up helping endangered animals any day.
“Thanks for coming,” she heard a rough voice say. Next thing she knew something was pulled over her head, and she had lost all consciousness of what was happening.
The next thing she knew she was in a closet, crammed inside with all the cleaning supplies. She could make out a conversation between what it seemed like Henry and another guy with a hoarse voice were conversing
“I have the girl locked up in there, so all the possible distractions are out of the way. She can’t intervene.”
“I’m giving you a good amount for this fur. Having these animals under protection has made my business go under. And I knew you wouldn’t say no to a little extra money.”
Fauna was in horror as she realized what was happening. She would not let the animal be poached! She tried to get out but failed. The door was locked. All she could do was pound on the door, when she remembered her cellphone. She fumbled through her pocket and dialed 911, careful to speak softly. She tried the best she could, now all she could do was wait and hope for the best.
From the first sentence I can tell the story is going to be great! Very good starting sentence, which includes a simile. I'm just a little confused of why she had to sneak in at night. What exactly was she doing, looking for the panda? Your story is great, other than what I have said! Nice cliffhanger at the end, it really gets to me. What happens!!!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this story! I loved the imagery that you put into this novel, and it really adds to how real the story was. You also incorporated similes and metaphors into the story nicely. My favorite part of the story was when we learn that Henry is poaching, that was unexpected! Who would expect a zoo employee to also be a poacher? I agree with Kyle and I think that you should elaborate on why she is at the zoo in the first place. Was she the one who let the panda loose? Also you had a very good ending, which left me thinking, what happens next?!
ReplyDeleteYour story is great! I really liked all the descripted words you used. Also I loved the imagery you used. I was a little confused on way she was sneaking in at night? And Did she let the panda out? Your ending was a little confusing to me but other wise your story was great.
ReplyDeleteI think your story was great because of the imagery spread throughout, the beginning painted a very clear picture in my mind and I almost felt like I was in the zoo myself. The climax in my opinion is when she gets kidnapped and realizes poachers are going to kill the panda. You did a great job creating suspense when the boss says the panda vanished. The only suggestion from me is to maybe add a bit to the resolution so that a bit more is revealed about the pandas capture or the girl's fate. Great Job!
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